Sanitized flakes of processed nutriment

“You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans.”
Tom Robbins – Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas

Facebook is a silly little thing. But for an expat living in Korea it’s the singular form of mass social communication. Email, cell phones… these things don’t even come close. Nearly every social thing I do — meet for dinner, play a gig, get people to come to my gigs, attend an event, know someone’s present location, know when they’re coming back, what time band practice is — is managed through Facebook. Some of this social activity even happens on Facebook itself. I play games with friends, comment on their status or photos or videos, chat, on and on. I used to hate the idea of this kind of sillyness. But it works for this place, as I’m sure it does anywhere there’s a smattering of displaced individuals wandering around a foreign world.

But I’m bringing up Facebook for another reason. It also has a few cool applications. I found a Tom Robbins quote generator that just erased 40 minutes of my life in a most entertaining fashion. I don’t read much fiction. Truth is, I’m too impatient. If I want to lose myself in a story, I’d rather complete the journey in two hours through a film than a month through a book. But I do love Tom Robbins. His brain works the same as mine, except of course that his synapses are far more finely tuned to one another than mine are. Whenever I get on a roll when writing, he’s the guy I’m channeling, or at least trying to. When I was in Seoul looking for a novel to take with me on vacation, I picked up Villa Incognito, thinking its Asian elements would work well for the trip. It’s sitting over there on my desk. I can’t wait to open it.

I’ll stop typing now and instead hand it over to Tom. These are just a few random ones I pulled…

“If one yearns to see the face of the Divine, one must break out of the aquarium, escape the fish farm, to go swim up wild cataracts, dive in deep fjords. One must explore the labyrinth of the reef, the shadows of the lily pads. How limiting, how insulting to think of God as a benevolent warden, an absentee hatchery manager who imprisons us in the ‘comfort’ of artificial pools, where intermediaries sprinkle our restrictive waters with sanitized flakes of processed nutriment.
Skinny Legs And All

“The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is the more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious.”
Jitterbug Perfume

“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on – series polygamy – until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
Still Life With Woodpecker

“Purpose! Purposes are for animals with a hell of a lot more dignity than the human race! Just hop on that strange torpedo and ride it to wherever it’s going.”
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues

“In the end, we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that’s being continually retold in an accent too thick and too strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke. The soul is its punchline.”
Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates


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