In Flight Entertainment

I’m very sleep deprived. So this post might not make any sense. The flight was uneventful, except for some significant turbulence. I like turbulence. There’s that briefest instant of freefall and then the “thud.” I was half asleep when one hit — I never did become fully asleep — and I imagined what might happen if the wings ripped apart. Would the plane start spiraling, or would it nosedive? I envisioned a kind of nosedive and then I thought that if I survived the impact, the cabin would probably be shred to shit and I’d have to think fast to grab my life vest. I like to think that I’d look around to see if there were any children who had forgotten to put a vest on and maybe I’d try to save one. Then we’d float in the icy water and he/she would scream and I’d have to say kin-chan-ay-yo, kin-chan-ay-yo, or however you say that. Then the sun would rise a little and I’d die from the cold but the child would survive and get rescued. Anyway, that was my story. In truth I’d probably panic and swallow a bunch of water before I could take off my seatbelt.

I watched an episode of Friends. It’s been a year since I’ve seen American situation comedies. I’d forgotten about the laugh-track. What a silly, stupid thing. Every two seconds the crowd did this loud, canned laughter. I kept wishing they would shut the hell up.

I read the International Herald Tribune and there was something about US customs officials seizing people’s laptops and copying their hard drives. I thought that if they did that to me when I landed I’d tell them to fuck off. Then I’d wind up in jail and that would be fine with me.

I’m reading an amazingly brilliant, brilliantly amazing book called Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, which is probably why I’m writing like this. Or maybe it’s the no sleep thing.

America is weird. Everyone is so polite to complete strangers. Things are so clean and average. Everyone looks different from everyone else. And I can hear conversations again. Most of the time I wish I didn’t. But it’s nice to be back.


2 Responses to “In Flight Entertainment”

  1. That’s a scary article about US airport security and your laptop. Here’s the link:

  2. I was worried about Cody’s last blog. I hope they don’t get hold of his stuff.
    This really angers me. People are in the desert trying to protect our rights because of fear of terrorism, while at the same time we are giving up our rights in the same name of terrorism.
    Anyway, welcome home.

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