Return to ‘now space’

OK, this is weird. Just flat out weird. I just now walked into my apartment in Busan, and it was the freakiest sensation. Maybe it’s the massive sleep deprivation I’m under. But this feels like some kind of psychedelic experience, or a dream. I feel right now like I’m not myself, but some alternate version of myself.

I got out of the elevator on my floor and my apartment door looked different. I punched in the code, turned the key, and walked in. And there’s my apartment, but it feels like a displaced, previous hallucination of some parallel, bizarro world. Everything seems very clean and… white. and yet, hyper-normal. There are my books, there’s my cell phone, my day pack right where I left it… some shirts folded on the couch. And odd bits of normalcy like the shampoo samples my hair cut lady gave to me. That’s right, I cut my hair the day before I left…

I must be dreaming right now. I’m actually in the hostel in Stuttgart, hoping the alarm goes off so I don’t miss my flight. But no, I’m here… I think.

This shouldn’t be this strange. This didn’t happen when I came back from America over the summer. This was a longer stay away, and maybe it’s all the travel that extended time (and my brain) that much further. That must be it. I was so far removed that I totally forgot about this space that I live in. When I left it was a different world, a rush of activity: grades, parties, goodbyes.

Okay, calm down. I’ll adjust in time. Take a shower, sleep for a while. But I feel as if I could sit down in this moment and write a philosophical treatise on the nature of “home” and “space.” They’ve always been ephemeral things for me anyway, but this little moment here… this is just… weird.

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One Response to “Return to ‘now space’”

  1. I had the same strange sensation when I returned from 3 weeks in Barcelona, Ibiza, and Washington DC. My house seemed totally foreign, and I was even uncomfortable driving for two days before it felt regular again! :)

    Gorgeous pics!

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